“Emotional intelligence (EQ) is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. The good news is that highly sensitive people aren’t more or less emotionally intelligent than others. They just use emotional intelligence differently.” – Dr. Travis Bradberry
Do you feel weak and weird being a highly sensitive and emotional person?
Do you feel like you`re often misunderstood?
Do you think that others see you as a helpless and incapable being?
Do you hate your emotions and vulnerability?
Do you feel like something is wrong with you?
Would you rather be insensitive and free from emotions?
But who says emotions can harm you?
Are you aware of the term HSP?
A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) has been described as someone with hypersensitivity to external stimuli with a great depth of cognitive processing and high emotional reactivity.
“15%-20% of the population is highly sensitive. Biologists have found high sensitivity in 100+ animal species, including fruit flies, birds, fish, dogs, cats, and horses. As high sensitivity translates into observing before acting, having a highly sensitive minority increases an entire species’ survival rate.
While it may seem “HSP” is another term for an introvert, research shows that about 1 out of 5 HSPs are actually extroverts” says Dr. Elaine N. Aron, the best-selling author of The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You.
As an HSP you have a lot of qualities inside you of which you may be unaware. Some of these qualities are:
• Deep connection with the world around you
It means you don’t have to depend on others. You can trust yourself and be sure that you’ll help yourself when necessary.
You have the inner resources that will help you survive some tough periods of your life.
Being in contact with your emotions, following your feelings, listening to your inner voice will lead you to freedom.
Living life as a highly sensitive and emotional person is not so simple. As you feel all the feelings of the world, you need to have a break.
Being alone and appreciating the beauty of the world around you, you’ll feel strong and capable of living fearlessly.
You, as a highly sensitive person, can recognize what is good for you and what is not.
You see the things that others don’t see. You feel a feeling that others can’t feel. Your strength is in every little thing around you.
What are some other benefits of being an HSP?
• You enjoy being in solitude. You feel energized in a quiet place, in silence.
• You have a highly developed sense of empathy.
• You are intuitive, very self-aware.
• You are kind and gentle.
• You don’t only feel your emotions, but also the emotions of other people.
• You know how to be grateful for nature.
• You understand people’s feelings.
• You have a rich inner life.
• You cherish your privacy and the privacy of others as well.
• You’re in contact with plants and animals.
• You are an excellent listener.
What are the disadvantages of being an HSP?
• Crying is a common thing for you.
• You are hardly able to make decisions.
• Other people’s moods affect you a lot.
• You feel the energy that is around you, the energy of others or of a certain place.
• You are an easy target for bullies.
• You are prone to anxiety and depression.
• You are very sensitive to other people’s pain.
• You’re easily overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, and strong smells.
• You’re annoyed by authoritative people.
• You feel the suffering of other people.
• Violence and tense situations upset you.
• Doing too many things at once overwhelms you and makes you anxious.
• You analyze and overthink everything.
• People see you as shy and hypersensitive.
I must emphasize that these characteristics are disadvantages only if you feel bad that you’re an HSP.
When you accept who you are, emotions and sensitivity won’t represent a problem to you anymore.
You’ll know how to live as being an HSP without having to justify yourself to other people or to yourself.
How I accepted my highly sensitive personality
I thought that emotions were my enemies and that they always reminded me of negative moments from the past.
I would fall apart every time someone said things to me that I didn`t want to hear. I was even sensitive to the tone of their voices. The very look in their eyes seemed like a threat to me.
I didn`t know how to stop taking everything so personally.
I wasn’t ready to understand why I had those feelings or emotions. What did they want from me?
I believed that emotions were bad, that only weak people were emotional. With this belief, I had wandered through life for years. I was afraid of being hurt.
It doesn`t help to fight your emotions. Emotions are chasing you because you are frightened of them and you are running away. All they want to tell you is that you must listen to them.
1. Emotions are your intuition, the road signs that you need to follow.
Feelings are your guides, and they lead you to where you should be. It hurts when you don`t follow them or want to escape from them.
If you are not sure of your strength because you are highly sensitive, there is a way to align yourself with your purpose and nature and to find your strength.
I found a way to strengthen myself emotionally. I accepted my sensitive nature. Without this crucial step, it would have been impossible to continue to live freely with that amount of emotions in me.
Acceptance was not easy. It took me some time to accept the fact that I am highly sensitive.
Since I follow my feelings and listen to my intuition, I make choices that are aligned with my higher being.
2. You can feel the energy of other people, even the energy of animals and plants.
I can also feel the energy of a place to which I go or the energy of someone`s home. Yes, I am that sensitive.
It makes my life so mysteriously beautiful. And I like it.
I feel that I am part of an infinite Universe, which is a power not everyone is blessed with.
But you, the highly emotional being, possess that incredible power. And that power can be your number one reason for accepting your highly sensitive personality.
3. Use your emotions for a real purpose.
If you feel sad and sorry for yourself, change something. No matter how small the change, it will be of importance.
If you are sensitive to people’s words and actions towards you or other people and you are easily hurt, you need to build your confidence.
I found things I’m good at and I devoted more attention to them.
4. What made you stronger? Where and when in your life did you show strength?
I wrote down all the situations and decisions I had made when I felt strong and decisive.
I realized that those had been the events where I was most vulnerable and made choices I was most afraid to make.
It meant that I was brave and bold, although I was scared. I dared to get out of my comfort zone.
It strengthens your self-confidence the most.
5. You need to understand your emotions and their purpose.
To do that, you have to ask yourself questions, instead of blaming yourself for your sensitivity. Questions like:
– Why do I feel this way now?
– What is the message this feeling brings?
– What can I do about this feeling?
– What is the purpose of this emotion I feel?
By communicating with yourself this way, you communicate with your higher self. And the answers that you get will lead to accepting and understanding those emotions and senses in your body.
When I got my answers, I found it easier to breathe. I figured out why it hurts when I am sad or feel some other emotion.
Now, I can completely feel any sensation that arises in my body. I am not afraid anymore.
6. Your strength lies in your individuality.
Not knowing how to deal with your sensitivity is going to mislead you.
You have to be at peace with your emotions. You have to be who you are – an emotional, spiritual being, satisfied and joyful with all your merits and demerits.
How can you be peaceful and satisfied when you are so sensitive?
Instead of wanting to be insensitive as if you don`t care, you can do something about it.
You can help someone whom you feel sorry.
You can act rather than feel bad about someone’s suffering. You are not helping anyone by feeling bad for them.
You don’t help yourself either, with self-pity or crying over your life.
Being highly sensitive is not a curse. It is the power you have in this life to feel and experience life fully.
Accept the fact that you are a highly sensitive person
Courage and strength come from within. No matter how emotional or unemotional you are, it doesn`t represent your strength (or the lack of it).
Strength is the capability to recognize your emotions and see them as the virtue.
You, as a spiritual being, are here to experience different events through your emotions.
That`s why it`s important to acknowledge your emotions and be at peace with who you are.
Are you a highly sensitive person? Do you feel strong or weak as an HSP?